Researchers also found that codependent symptoms got worse if left untreated. What price are we willing to pay? When I bring this up they both think I'm full of it. You are young, I am 51 and am only now feeling strong enough to 'hold my boundaries' with my family members. The spouse may not realize that his wife is struggling with alcoholism and in fact, could become offended if someone suggested such a thing. I am 35 years old, married for 13 years and have 4 beautiful children with one on the way. That said, I think that a licensed mental professional is probably your best bet for getting to the bottom of your unhealthy patterns and creating a plan of action to break your habit. I am essentially his carer, not girlfriend, and have given up all my needs for him, including sex.
I went from taking care of my mother for the most part. I get anxious when thinking they will not text me back or that I like them more then they like me. Paranoia seems to be another of her traits. He was also married before and I used to use it as an excuse of why we can't move forward but I know it's me. I never thought they would take it this far. Well, last year she had a stroke.
They texted me back saying that I depend to much on others in the family. I can tell he wants to be with family all the time I am around but this is where I struggle. When I look back on the huge efforts I've made, that have not helped much long-term, and may have really hurt the situation more in some cases - hard to say - I wish I could take it all back. Been almost a year now. She does not work, after inheriting money from her deceased dad. She relies on him to do the household maintenance and for emotional support. Of course I am responding based on limited information and you should take what is useful to you and discard the rest! Growing up my step dad was an alcoholic very physically and verbally abusive.
Neither of my parents were overprotected. My separated husband and I are co dependent. Learn about Some codependents have rigid boundaries. My mom is over emotional and never actually listens to anything I say. What specific actions and steps could you take? Short there after as we had problems she was diagnosed bipolar, so I did all I could with that but when she said she couldn't handle the meds I supported her in quitting them, thinking we could manage our selves.
We have had our share of troubles in the relationship but I feel I cannot make a decision on anything without it being okay with her, otherwise she has a panic attack, blames herself, and we fight and both become a mess. Unfortunately I don't have a time machine to assert myself at a much younger age and put my life in my own hands. He asked did I write it. He has 2 kids and none of this is looking good as his ex is an alcoholic that binge drinks. Just two weeks before I had to go I had already bought the flight ticket my mom started crying saying I was dead to her. I've told her how I felt like my life wasn't worth living and she disregarded it repeatedly, she didn't even tell my father that I needed help.
The core belief gets rooted in their psyche and begins to affect every relationship they have. To know if you are a codependent spouse, you need to ask a few simple questions to yourself. I can't really relate to the stories on here about parents with their own mental illness. Wanted us to have the skillset of extroverts, in particular having the independence and having a job, without realizing the irony of the situation. She didn't have a daughter anymore. They might be in denial of their need for space and autonomy. Naturally I became v anxious.
Do you have trouble asking for help? The disagreements I'm having with them now would've happened 20 years ago and the person would've moved in with someone else. My dad was a a narcissist as well. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 28 years and coaches internationally. For example, a mother who got pregnant in her teen years may demand repayment of the burden she faced by putting expectations on her daughter to seize advantages in life that she missed out on. I suppose I'm saying, I think you do know what you need to do.
If I go for a walk, one of them tracks me down immediately. I got to the point of constantly doubting myself. Instead, even when presented with irrefutable facts that would cause a normal person to reconsider and reevaluate their position, the codependent parent will either refute the facts or move onto a different argument without addressing the point being made. I became dependent and honestly I fear to face life on my own. I feel bad, I always feel bad and I'm tired of it consuming my life! After 11 years — this is the 1st time I recognized myself as a Co-dependent person. You might also wish to seek the help of a family or personal therapist.