Wondering if he feels the same is something I think about quite often as well. I was 15, and thought I knew everything. There is a magic in the way that you look at me. I remember how proud of me you were, whenever I won an award in extra-curricular activity or when I aced a test. When I say I love you, I mean it from the heart. How do I get to forget the night at the beach during the new year carnival.
I remember climbing fences and ripping my skirt, I remember kissing in trees and laying on the dock in the sun as we daydreamed about far off worlds and mystical creatures. When I finally thought I moved on, you popped back up and all of my feelings for you resurfaced. I forgive you for making my life a living hell. I think you and I were lucky to have such a great first love. I feel as if I have won the lottery with you, someone who is so special and magical, who makes my life and my world a thousand times better just by being there.
Most people fall in love too early- before they are ready. Our end, was something that I still have yet to completely get over. But I feel like the universe aligned just right to bring you and I together. You reminded me who I was after forgetting for such a long time. Remember when our families visited Seven Falls? I wish we had tried harder to make it happen, because I know we would have stayed close had we been able to follow through with our plans. Remember how I mentioned before that I just want you to be happy? Your love has made me more patient in life, your love has created that feel for me. You showed me how to be in a relationship.
First, I was angry at myself because I thought maybe I did something wrong. You have given a beautiful reason to my life. You lost my trust, but I so easily gave in. You make me want to do the same for you. Love means accepting the way a person is, you never really changed me and you are ok with me as I am. I see reminders of you everywhere I look, and they make me ache to be near you again.
Until I can see you and hold you again, you will remain omnipresent in my dreams. Thank you for teaching me about love and for the little lessons. There is nobody else I would rather be with. I forgive you for all the bad decisions you made and I thank you for the last decision you made: to walk away and excommunicate me. All I do know is that I love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. He was everything that I strived to be. Its funny, because when we first met, I hated you.
You have changed me a lot, you have had that affect on my thought. I am so lucky to have you by my side. Now that I think of it- you were one hell of a bitch. Over the time, I developed that feeling for you. You accepted me for who I was and enabled me to grow in new directions even when those directions were away from you.
I want you to be happy. When you are not around, I feel gloomy. Its something I'll always have in the back of my mind. I told myself not to do it. I still listen to songs that we listened to, your memory still attached to its lyrics. I knew how much you always wanted to make him happy and how much you wanted him to see you succeed.
I love you, my dear, and this separation is just so tough on me. Remembering our first kiss is remembering since when my heart beats for you. And now its your life. You radiated with such beauty and charisma that anyone wanted to follow you. Every emotion that I feel in life starts from you and ends on you. Love you and miss you honey! Despite myself, you turned out to be an amazing child, more than I could have ever imagined. When summer began it was comfortable and normal to begin again with you.
Thank you for staying respectful, even after we broke up. You have been lighting up the dark and bringing joy to my heart. When you did start talking to me again, is when you told me you cheated. You laugh at my dorky jokes, and we love listening to the same music. He taught me to be light. I feel the passion when you come close.