Regardless of the temptation, don't lick a steak knife. Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? Listening to them is quite common. A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? He ate the pizza before it was cool. Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? A: Halfway Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? What did the cop say to his stomach? A: Erotic is using a feather. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
If all is not lost, where is it? Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying? Q: What do priests and Mcdonalds have in common? Q: Why did the picture go to jail? Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. A: He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens! The first one was definitely easy, but the rest were kind of hard, not necessarily because they were hard, but because they were worded to wear it was over-intellectual and made no damn sense. A mushroom walks into a bar. Q: What did the midget say when I asked him for a dollar? Q: What do 9 out of 10 people consider to be a good time? A: If your not in bed by 12 come home. Q: What would happen if you cut off your left side? Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis Q.
Q: How do you piss of a midget? Q: Why do black people not like to go on cruises? What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? A: You spread its little legs. A: A cheater, cheater, woman beater. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? The most devastating force in the world is gossip. What did the grape say when he was pinched? Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Who the hell would think these are funny? Q: Why are pubic Hairs so curly? How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? A: His car got toad. An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. A: They both only change their pads after every third period! Q: What do you call a Mexican midget? A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? To the baaaaa baaaaa shop! Q: Whats the hardest part of rollerblading? Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave his cat a bath? She just puts it on her bill.
Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? The rabbit said no so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. A: I cry when I cut up onions. Well this tastes a little funny. A: They don't have balls to scratch. A: Make me one with everything. They were both stuck up bitches.
Never, under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? Q: How do you kill a retard? Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Just act like a nut.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? How do you catch a unique rabbit? Horse walks into a bar. Q: How do you get retards out of a tree? Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? How do you catch a tame rabbit? He had no body to go with him. How do you make a tissue dance? Q: What is Superman's greatest weakness? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. A: Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture. Q: I am the black child of a white father, a wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven. A: He ate it before it was cool! What kind of music to chiropractors listen to? Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish? What is grey and can't fly? How do we know good jokes? Confucius says, when naked man walk through doorway sideways, he going to Bangkok.
Spirituality Jokes The Art of Meditation — You Have the Right to Remain Silent Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa? I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. What do you do with a sick boat? A: Because they can't stand up for themselves Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. A: They drowned in Spring training. A:Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Q: What dog keeps the best time? Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A: Because their plugged into a genius! A: Putting her back in the wheelchair when your done. If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate? Why did the policeman smell bad? If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them the rest of your life! Take is to the doc already. A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus. A: They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out.
The king, the princess, the queen died. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? A: Because of his coffin. Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? His mom was in a jam. A: The grass tickles their balls Q: What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? Life is now officially unfair. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix. Q: What do you call a blonde at university? How do you make a tissue dance? What did one tampon say to the other tampon? They were somewhat intelligent, but not funny.